Many of us live such busy lives that we are not likely to know our next door neighbour!
The man of my dreams is out there somewhere!
An article by Bernard Salt in The Australian, October 25, 2012 ‘Girls, looking for a single guy? Try the inner city’ seems to assume that singles are more likely to meet a potential match more readily in their neighbourhood than the world at large. While this may have been the case but a few decades ago, it is not so today. Indeed these days many a single….and couple and family…do not even know who lives next door to their apartment or home. While there may be higher densities of single men and women in various suburbs of a city it does not mean that it is easy for them to connect or socialise where they live.
It would be interesting to research where couples living together or married today resided when they first met. I predict that the majority did not live in the same neighbourhood. Given that most singles of both sexes work five days a week and many travel a considerable distance to do so, much of their socialising is likely to occur away from home. Indeed the advent of the internet, online dating and social networking has made it possible for the single person to be home alone while seeking to connect with people who live near and far for friendship and romance.
Looking to the future, census stats indicate that by 2026 approximately 31% of households in Australia will be occupied by a person on their own. While the web will make it possible for this huge sector of our society to make connections online, such virtual relationships cannot replace face to face contact and friendships.
If we are not to become ‘a lonely crowd’ I suggest serious thought be given now to planning for a future where communities are created that facilitate connecting and a sense of belonging. Maybe then Salt’s assumptions re the power of propinquity will once again make it more likely that singles will form friendships and meet potential partners close to home.
Maybe an expectation of instant chemistry has made you blind!
Beware instant chemistry!
These days it seems that many a man – and woman – expects that they will be smitten at first sight when they meet ‘the one’ with whom they will share their life. Yet all too often this is an expectation that can not only blind us from the potential of a great partnership – but also leave us disillusioned and alone.
While there is no doubt that sexual attraction is an important ingredient of a relationship, the rush of hormones that usually accompanies ‘love at first sight’ is more to do with perpetuation of the species than compatibility when it comes to sharing the ups and downs of life. Indeed, as I have mentioned previously experts in the field of love and attraction will go so far as to say that if the instant chemistry is a 9 or 10 it is wise to run the other way! Continue reading →
Given that Yvonne Allen and Associates has assisted thousands of discerning single men and women to meet a potential partner, it is not surprising that our consultants have heard countless stories about promising partnerships that have not really got off the ground – and relationships that ended in disillusion, distress and disappointment. Often our consultants play an important role in helping our clients to recognise that what they’d perceived as a disaster can be a valuable turning point offering opportunities for new beginnings, growth and fulfilment Continue reading →
So many of can be blind when it comes to recognising a potential Mr/Ms Right!
If you’re on your own when you would prefer to be sharing life with a partner, I suggest that you take time to consider what really matters when it comes that ‘special someone’. Perhaps, like many discerning singles, you have been limiting your chances of finding and keeping love for reasons that are worth questioning…such as that they must have a particular interest!
Maybe as for Jane, a woman who contacted my consultancy recently, by narrowing the field of potential partners you are causing yourself unnecessary and perhaps lasting disappointment. As many a successful lawyer, Jane’s focus has been on her demanding career…at the expense of her personal life. Now, at the age of 41, she is feeling pressure to have a child before it’s too late. Continue reading →
Most of we women of today juggle so many different demands in our work and our personal lives that there is very little time in a day when we feel able to just relax and enjoy the moment. All too often, nagging thoughts about things not yet commenced or completed can mar moments of pleasure – and have a negative impact on our lives and relationships. If we are not vigilant, the stress associated with yet ‘to do’ tasks can have a negative impact on our health and happiness…and our relationship with a partner. Continue reading →